Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Welcome Groupies!

It looks like Tonjia's been busy, speading the word about my new blog to everyone. I want to offer a hearty welcome to all the new readers out there in the Blogosphere! Thanks for spending a few minutes reading my thoughts.

I was in the shower this AM (at 4 friking 15 in the morning, thankewverymuch) pondering a few imponderables, such as:

  • Why, when you are in a hurry, someone is always in front of you, going 10 mph below the speed limit?
  • Why is that person ALWAYS going exactly where you are going?
  • How come the car won't start on the coldest morning of the year (yeah, that happened this morning)
  • Why do they call it *Win*ter, when you are always losing things? (your breath, feeling in your toes, your car keys, etc)
Well I got to work, after having to jump start the Ford Es-cap-ee (spelled just like "Escape") I work at a small EMS company in Western Colorado, just west of Glenwood Springs. It's not a very busy system most of the time. So, for most of the morning, I had time to get my work done, checking gear, updating files, etc.

At lunch time, my boss Suzie offers to take us (our fearless crew) out to lunch at the next town over. As soon as we sit down to order, the pager goes off. This happens more often than chance would seem to indicate, which brings me to some of the:

Ten (+) Rules of EMS

1. Skin signs tell all.
2. Sick people don't bitch.
3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing.
4. Newbies have there own way of doing things.
5. The more equipment you see on a EMTs belt, the newer they are.
6. There is no rule 6.
7. When dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
8. All bleeding stops....eventually.
9. All people will eventually die, no matter what you do.
10. If the child is quiet, be scared.

(And A few more)
11. Always follow the rules, but be wise enough to forget them sometimes.
12. If the patient vomits in the rig try to hold thier head to the side of the rig with the disposable equipment, not the stuff you have to clean.
13. If someone dies by chemical hazards, electrical shocks or other on-scene dangers it should be the patient, not you.
14. Any EMT, FF, LEO and/or scene chief who is more drunk (or more stupid)than the patient is the real problem.
15. There will be problems.
16. You can't cure stupid.
17. If it's wet and sticky and not yours, LEAVE IT ALONE!
18. If at all possible, avoid any edible item that firefighters prepare, especially the tuna casserole.
19. Heaven protects Fools and Drunks.
20. EMS is extended periods of intense boredom, interrupted by occasional moments of sheer terror.
21. Every Emergency has three phases PANIC, FEAR, AND REMORSE.
22. You are bound to get a call either during dinner, while you are on the can, or at 02:00 in the middle of a great dream.
23. Rocket scientists that get into stupid car crashes are the first ones to complain how bumpy the ambulance ride is.
24. The severity of the injury(s) is directly proportional to the difficulty in accessing, as well as the weight, of the patient.
25. Turret mounted machine guns usually work better than lights and sirens.
26. Make sure the rookie EMT knows that a med patch is a radio term, and not a medicated bandage.
27. Paramedics save lives; But it's EMT skills that save Paramedics.
28. When a patient vomits outside, be sure to aim it at the citizens who wouldn't back up.
29. Never trust your rig, drug box, or airway bag to be
fully stocked. In spite of the assurances of the offgoing crew.
30. If you don't have it, don't give up, Adapt, Improvise, Overcome, (then call for a second unit).
31. There is no such thing as a "textbook case"
32. Newbies always look for large things in the smallest compartments and vice versa.
33. There is no such thing as a bad call. Only calls that didn't go the way you planned.
36. If there are no drunks at an MVA after midnight, keep looking, some one is missing.
37. Just cause you're paranoid does not mean the Supervisor isn't around the corner.
38. Remember what MICN stands for, "May I interrupt your Call Now?".
39. Just because someone's license date is before yours does not meanthey know what they are doing.

40. Always order your food to go.

This list was borrowed from:

Well tomorrow is another day, and I'm off duty. Let's see what kind of trouble I can stay out of...



  1. LOLOLOL I LOVE it!! some of these I have never seen!!

    Keep blogging, you are doing great!

  2. Happy 2009! I look forward to following your blog...I do believe you have this blogging thing down!

    ~AirmanMom returning to her blog...